Biggest Losers Face Home Reality Without Keys to Success

Rudy, Danny, Liz and Amada are the final four contestants, and their last challenge was going home for 60 days and preparing to run a 26 mile marathon. One of them will be voted off this coming week.

What they realized in going home was how much they had changed – and not just physically. At home they came face to face with some of the issues that led to their obesity in the first place. While at the ranch, they focused on physical changes and discovering how much they had let themselves go. Back home, they were seeing that it isn’t just the physical that has to change in order to really succeed. They have to address the underlying subconscious mental and emotional issues that drove their unhealthy behaviors and overeating in the first place.

While this episode was going on, a former Biggest Loser winner, Ryan Benson, failed to return to the reunion show held last week. He had regained most of his weight back and admitted to extreme fasting and dehydration during the show in order to win. And just a couple of weeks earlier, Daniel Wright, who has done the show twice, went home. Daniel now admits he struggles with binge eating and kept that hidden during the show. Most likely it was even worse when he got home, having been severely deprived for the past 10 weeks. Overeating or bingeing after extreme dieting and deprivation is normal, and no doubt many other contestants have found themselves over-indulging once back home. This may explain why half of the Biggest Loser contestants have regained most or all of their weight loss.

Programs, like the Biggest Loser, are failing to address the underlying drivers of obesity that each of their contestants will deal with after the program ends. This is a disservice to those who put their trust in the trainers and dieticians, as well as to those watching the programs. It simply isn’t a matter of extreme diet, exercise and weight loss to be a success and maintain weight loss. If it were, obesity would have been solved long ago.

What drives our behavior are subconscious thoughts, beliefs and feelings, and when it comes to food and exercise these are complicated and unique to each person. Binge eating, for example, can be driven by a subconscious rebellion against food restrictions, an unmet need that is soothed by food, a means of keeping unresolved emotions repressed, or a reaction to not getting enough food and being compelled to make up for that deprivation. The triggers for dysfunctional eating can come from nearly anything, and without understanding how to be aware of them, how to resolve them and strategies to limit them, they will continue.

Rudy, Danny, Liz and Amanda all hope to go home the next Biggest Loser winner, yet they also share a concern about their ability to maintain their weight loss when the show ends. They have every reason to be concerned, because they haven’t been given the tools and experiences they really need to change their relationship with food and fitness from the inside out.

Why Valerie Bertinelli Says What Really Matters Is How You Feel

Valerie is the poster child for Jenny Craig after losing 40 pounds, yet she says in a recent interview in Health magazine that what really matters to her is feeling good in her body and being healthy. When asked what’s better, looking good or feeling good? She answered, “Feeling good, without a doubt. When I feel good, I look better, because it shows from within.” And that is just what I would expect her to say.

Everyone who succeeds in losing some weight and keeping it off, even if they don’t get as slim as they once thought they wanted, will tell you that what really matters is how they feel, not how much they weigh. Most of them have tossed out their scale, just as I have. In the process of creating and maintaining healthier choices, you discover that you feel so much better, energized and positive. When you succeed at sticking with those choices, no matter how small they seem to be, you feel successful and are more confident in doing even more good things for yourself.

It is an interesting paradox. When you feel fat and out of shape, you will focus on your weight. When you feel in shape, good about yourself and able to maintain some weight loss as part of a new lifestyle, you will focus on how you feel. And that is what really counts.

Rickie Lake Sets an Example

Obese for most of her life, Rickie Lake is now fit and slim at a healthy weight and for the past three years she has been able to maintain her success. For twenty years as an actor, comedian and TV talk show host, she battled her weight with dieting and at one point starved herself while doing extreme exercising. None of it worked. Instead she yo-yoed in her weight, and did it very publicly, which wasn’t easy.

What finally worked was to stop dieting and extreme fitness. She discovered how to be physically active and eat a healthy diet in a way that was satisfying, easy to maintain and fits her lifestyle. Instead of focusing on quick fixes and rapid results, she focused on having a healthy lifestyle and she looks and feels better than she ever has, and she has been able to maintain it long-term.

What has helped her is getting food delivered by a service, and anyone can do this. There are personal chefs in nearly every community that have reasonable prices that most people can afford – even these days. If you don't know of one, do a search on line. There are many directories for personal chefs.

Rickie learned that the answer is not dieting, and she is a good example of someone who has tried all the diets out there without long-term success. The answer is eating enough healthy food you enjoy, so you don’t go hungry or feel deprived. It is also to find a way to exercise that gets you energized and motivated to keep it up. Rickie discovered hiking and does it four times a week for nearly two hours. She doesn’t need to go to the gym to keep in shape. She is doing it outdoors which she really enjoys.

Instead of fighting her weight, Rickie is now living a lifestyle in which her weight takes care of itself. By now, after nearly three years of living a healthy and fit lifestyle it is a part of who she is. I doubt she’ll ever have to fight the weight demon that those who diet still struggle with. She would agree. I happened to see her interviewed the other day and she felt confident those days were now behind her.

I know how she feels, I will celebrate 9 years of my new fit lifestyle this January 1st, and I never worry about my weight or going back to my sedentary ways and perpetual dieting routine.

Judgment of Those with Obesity Doesn’t Solve Weight Problem

This morning I had breakfast with a friend at a local diner, and she couldn't help but notice a group of people who were overweight and eating huge piles of pancakes and waffles dripping in butter, syrup and whipped cream. She wondered what was wrong with them and criticized them for their choices.

It is so easy to judge people who are obese for not taking responsibility for their weight problem, but until you’ve walked in their shoes you have no idea what the real problem is. It might appear obvious if you see them eating huge portions of food or eating things that aren’t healthy, but these behaviors are a symptom of a greater problem that is not well understood or obvious.

The problem starts with dieting, and most likely everyone who is obese has dieted at least once if not repeatedly. Restrictive diets all have two things in common: they are short term and they limit what you can eat. Once the diet ends, whether as planned or because it was too hard to stick with, there is an insatiable desire to eat what wasn’t allowed and to overeat. This reaction is both physical, because the body has been in starvation mode and works to restore its fuel supply, and it is psychological. When you’ve been deprived, you have an emotional need to make up for that deprivation.

These aren’t conscious, even if you know you just can’t stop eating foods you know you shouldn’t have. They are subconscious drivers of behavior that lead to food obsessions, cravings and bingeing. In 35% of the cases, they become eating disorders.

In addition, most people are stressed out, working long hours, juggling many responsibilities and putting themselves last. This isn’t an excuse, but a reality.

Instead of judging people for their poor eating choices and lack of activity or unhealthy lifestyle, the answer starts with empathy for their situation.

The next step is to help them take a look at these choices and come to understand what is driving them from an objective perspective. It is nearly impossible to take a closer look when they are self-critical and self-loathing. In fact, that is what leads to denial, because it is often too painful to deal with those feelings. Instead, by being curious of their behaviors without judgment, then they can see what is sabotaging their choices and can start to address their subconscious thoughts and emotions. In doing so, they can regain control, be in touch with how they feel, and discover an easier way to create and maintain healthier decisions for the long term.

Making the Hard Choice for Bariatric Surgery

A friend of mine is planning to get bariatric surgery, and I support her in making this decision. That may surprise you, but I do believe for some people this is the right decision.

Her goal isn’t primarily to lose weight, but to regain her health and be able to have an easier time being active. This is not an easy decision for anyone to make, and it’s taken her several years of thought. While some would argue that she should have gotten healthy through eating better and exercise, I know from working with her that she tried this to the best of her ability.

For some people, regaining energy, feeling better and losing weight (even if initially done with an extreme solution) is what it takes to embrace a healthy lifestyle of regular activity and healthier meals. It still isn’t easy to change old habits and beliefs, but when you feel better about yourself you want to do more for yourself, and you are inspired to feel good for the long-term. I am confident that she will succeed at maintaining a healthier relationship with food and increasing her level of fitness, because of the work we’ve done together.

Others aren’t so fortunate. Many who get this surgery see it as the solution and don’t realize that they still have to make changes in the way they feel and think about food and fitness. It is not uncommon to regain the weight and require another surgery. More programs are needed to support people before and after surgery on HOW to change lifestyle behaviors and address the subconscious drives of behavior, so they can more easily adopt new habits and strategies when they are most motivated – just after surgery.

Dealing with the Realities of Fat Camp

Right now, thousands of overweight children are away at fat camp. They are expecting to lose weight, have fun and gain self-esteem; and that is just what the camps promote. Some kids went by choice and others were told to go, and right now many of them probably wish it was over. You would too if you knew what was really going on at many of these camps, or perhaps you do know if you watched MTV’s Real World Fat Camp episodes this past winter. What I watched made me cringe and worry about the impact the experience was going to have on these young people long-term.

They had to be publicly weighed and measured, and many were clearly upset by the experience. It would seem to me the last thing you would do is set the stage for more shame in a kid who is overweight, since self-criticism and self-hatred are drivers of emotional eating, low self-confidence and exercise ambivalence.

All the girsl and boys, even those at four hundred pounds, were required to perform high exertion exercises while out in the heat and sun. No personal trainer I know would do that with unconditioned adults, much less those who are obese. Not only is this risky, many of the children were clearly miserable and struggling with what was being asked of them. Again I had to wonder what the mental and emotional impact of doing extreme boot camp-style exercising would be on these girls and boys.

As I continued to watch the show the children dealt with another challenge. To eat, they had to climb a steep hill where the food hall was located. The kids hated this hill and many of them opted not to eat to avoid climbing it. No surprise, all they talked about was food and how hungry they felt. They were obsessed with finding ways to get food they couldn’t have. The emotional impact of being deprived and feeling guilty when eating forbidden food is a primary cause of overeating and bingeing that can last a lifetime. It seemed to me this camp was setting the stage for long-term dysfunctional eating and not a healthy relationship with food or good nutritional habits.

The reality of most fat camps is they are doing more damage than good, yet the MTV reality show was such a hit that Camp Pocono Trails is having one its best summers ever.

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Confidence in Your Ideal Size

Have you seen the Jenny Craig commercials on TV or their ads in magazines recently? Queen Latifah is quoted as saying she’s “size active” and encourages people to take the first step to their ideal size. Valerie Bertinelli says she found her ideal size and is “size surfer girl” now that she’s in shape enough to surf. This new campaign by Jenny Craig is helping women to focus on feeling good in their healthier bodies and about themselves, no matter their size or weight. Finally!

Their focus isn’t to help women get down to a size 2, but to discover what is healthy and realistic for them. Jenny Craig’s former spokesperson, Kirstie Alley, got to a size (I think it was a 10) that was comfortable for her to maintain and feel good about. She was happy with that. It worked for her, and what we are hearing is that Queen Latifah, Valerie, and role models such as Oprah are content to be fit at a healthy size they can live with.

So why do so many of us strive to be under a size 8 or ideally a size 0? Perhaps it is because we are reminded constantly by the media’s attention on celebrities that anything larger isn’t desirable, beautiful or sexy. Sadly, even the celebrities that look like they have perfect size 0 bodies confess they are unhappy with something about their features. That isn’t good news for the rest of us. Or is it?

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Obsessed with Being Thin

What exactly changes in your life when you are a size 0 or even smaller? Do you get more friends, feel more loved or attain greater happiness? I’ve been wondering that after watching yet another celebrity, who seemed to have a gorgeous body, slim down to the point she is skeletal. The beautiful Katie Holmes has gone from sexy and stunning to looking anorexic. You have to wonder what she thinks this will get her. Wasn’t she enough as she was? Who is judging her? I don’t think it is Tom Cruise who fell in love and married her for being Katie.

I wonder the same thing with people who call me fixated on being a certain weight. Nearly everyone is obsessed with their weight and what the number is on the scale. Yet this number is for your eyes only. Almost no one knows what size clothes you wear or what the scale says when you get on it. The numbers you are focused on doesn’t mean anything to the people around you, unless you’ve made it a big deal. Instead they are more worried about their own numbers, and you probably have no idea what they are or what they “should” be for them.

Think about it. No one cares if your scale says 210, 175, 135 or 110 – or what ever magic number you are fixated on. They don’t care or know what size clothes you wear. They may be concerned if you are grossly overweight, but their concern is for your health not your size. Or they may be judging you for your size, but they would probably judge you anyway.

This week stop obsessing about your own weight and consider if you know or care what others around you weigh. Then ask yourself why you care so much about the numbers on your scale. If you are healthy, fit and feel good about yourself, what difference does it make what they are? It doesn’t.

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The Skinny on Metabolism

Do you believe you can’t lose weight because you were born with a low metabolism? If you are struggling with your weight your metabolism may well be slow, but it is highly unlikely that you were born that way. Genetic disorders are often quite serious and diagnosed early on. Instead the more likely cause are lifestyle habits. Many things impact your metabolism, not just what you eat and how active you are. How much sleep and water you get are also important.

Metabolism, as familiar as it is to most people, is not actually well understood. You may know it has something to do with the rate at which you burn calories, and if you have a higher metabolism you can eat more without putting on weight. But that only addresses a part of how metabolism works. By knowing a bit more, you will know why you may be struggling with your weight and how to make better decisions.

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Top 4 Resolutions That Jazz You

Every year the top four resolutions are basically the same. Exercise, eat better, stop a bad habit and work harder at something, and none of these even sound appealing. They all sound like a lot of forced effort with a heavy dose of being deprived, and that is what they are in this context.

They would be much more enticing if they were in context to things that feel exciting and uplifting. Wouldn't it be more motivating to change these to: Get fit in order to fully enjoy an active vacation of a lifetime, eat foods that taste great and make me feel better, get to bed earlier to feel energized and upbeat each morning, or clean up my office to feel on top of things all day long. These are based on what you want to experience in your life, not what you think you should do.

What top 4 end results are motivating enough to change your lifestyle habits?

Becoming Victim to the Scale

Last week a friend of mine was getting upset because she had done a hard workout but her scale didn’t budge. She wanted to see it go down two pounds and she was consumed by the fact that it didn’t. She’s a healthy size 6. She looks great and is fitting better in her clothes. But that doesn’t console her. All she is focused on is what it says on the scale and what she can do to change it.

She checks the scale regularly throughout the day to see if it has budged, and she feels euphoric if it has gone done and depressed if it hasn’t. The results run her life, her decisions about food and exercise, and how she feels about herself.

Yet she has a 50/50 chance of stepping on the scale and having it go down or up. And as much as she would like to believe, she doesn’t control the outcome on an hourly basis nor even on a daily basis.

This week get rid of your scale and stop being the victim. You don’t need a scale to tell you if you’re overweight and unhealthy. Free yourself to pay attention to how you feel physically and let that drive your decisions instead.