Putting Shoulds in Their Place

Why is it so hard to do as you know you should with healthy eating choices , regular exercise and taking better care of yourself? No doubt, you’ve wondered about this countless times. It doesn’t seem to make sense that if you know what you should do, that you don’t do it or at least not often enough. Yet whenever you don’t do something you intended, there is a good – and valid – reason.

Think for a moment of one thing you know you should do, but don’t. Does the idea of doing it feel inspiring or enjoyable? Or does it feel more like drudgery or a chore? If it doesn’t elicit desire or at the minimum some enticement, than it makes complete sense why you would avoid it. Who wants to do something they don’t enjoy or find distasteful? In fact, to follow through on doing what you aren’t inspired to do takes enormous amounts of energy to overcome the reluctance or resistance. Few people have enough extra energy in their busy and stressful lifestyle to do that. And the guilt of not measuring up to the “should” they carry around on a pedestal further depletes what energy they do have.

When you don’t follow through on a should, this is an opportunity to investigate where the should is coming from and if the rules can be changed or relaxed.

Steps to Dealing with Shoulds

• Think of something you should do that you don’t.
  
• What is it about doing it you struggle with?


• In what way is that struggle valid, and what can you learn from your reaction?


• What might work better for you that is a positive and healthy alternative or solution?


• What would you enjoy more or be inspired to do that supports your real objective?
  

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Follow the New You 2010 Healthy Lifestyle Contestants

I’m pleased to announce the New You 2010 Healthy Lifestyle Contest for Greater Newburyport – a group of towns along the Northshore coast of Massachusetts. This contest is designed for people who want to finally become a health, fitness or weight loss success story like you read about in magazines. This isn’t a weight loss contest but a contest for greatest improvements in health, fitness and healthy lifestyle behaviors which is the key to sustainable weight loss and finally being free of worrying about weight gain.

I know, because that is how I became a success story. Nine years ago on January 1, 2001, I began exercising and eating better in a way that changed my whole attitude and mindset about fitness and taking care of myself. For the first time in my life I didn’t quit and give up. Instead I stuck with it, and two years later I had dropped from a size 16 to a size 4. It took longer than if I had done a quick weight loss diet or extreme fitness program, but I had succeeded to stick with my new healthy and active lifestyle. More importantly I was discovering a love for fitness and wanting to be even more fit. For a gal who hated exercise and had a long history of yo-yo exercise and dieting, this was miraculous. Yet I discovered a way to get and stay fit that was motivating, so I no longer had to worry I would get off track or gain all the weight back. Nine years later, after going through menopause, I am still fit and wearing size 4s or 6s.

My discovery led to a shift in careers and a passion for helping others create and maintain a healthy lifestyle that feels so good they too can succeed for the long-term. I’ve since become an expert in overcoming the sabotage that keeps us from meeting our goals, staying on track and feeling motivated to exercise, eat well and make ourselves the priority. While I’ve helped hundreds of people individually make changes for long-term success, I realized recently that I could do more by creating a contest here in the Newburyport area where I live.

There are eight contestants who are committed to successfully creating and maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle so they can be in control of their weight and be free of their issues with food and exercise. During the next two years, they will be sharing their experience of creating and then maintaining their new healthy lifestyles on a Newburyport community blog, http://www.newburyport-today.com/ .

At the same time, three other groups will start the same two-year program, and they will be sharing their experience here on this blog, by commenting on my weekly New You 2010 post about the program theme for the week.

Follow the contestants each week on this blog.

You can also participate in the program on your own or in a group with the guidelines I post each week on the contest site at www.aHealthyLifestyleWorks.com/contest.

Here’s to a healthy and active new you!

Why Valerie Bertinelli Says What Really Matters Is How You Feel

Valerie is the poster child for Jenny Craig after losing 40 pounds, yet she says in a recent interview in Health magazine that what really matters to her is feeling good in her body and being healthy. When asked what’s better, looking good or feeling good? She answered, “Feeling good, without a doubt. When I feel good, I look better, because it shows from within.” And that is just what I would expect her to say.

Everyone who succeeds in losing some weight and keeping it off, even if they don’t get as slim as they once thought they wanted, will tell you that what really matters is how they feel, not how much they weigh. Most of them have tossed out their scale, just as I have. In the process of creating and maintaining healthier choices, you discover that you feel so much better, energized and positive. When you succeed at sticking with those choices, no matter how small they seem to be, you feel successful and are more confident in doing even more good things for yourself.

It is an interesting paradox. When you feel fat and out of shape, you will focus on your weight. When you feel in shape, good about yourself and able to maintain some weight loss as part of a new lifestyle, you will focus on how you feel. And that is what really counts.

Rickie Lake Sets an Example

Obese for most of her life, Rickie Lake is now fit and slim at a healthy weight and for the past three years she has been able to maintain her success. For twenty years as an actor, comedian and TV talk show host, she battled her weight with dieting and at one point starved herself while doing extreme exercising. None of it worked. Instead she yo-yoed in her weight, and did it very publicly, which wasn’t easy.

What finally worked was to stop dieting and extreme fitness. She discovered how to be physically active and eat a healthy diet in a way that was satisfying, easy to maintain and fits her lifestyle. Instead of focusing on quick fixes and rapid results, she focused on having a healthy lifestyle and she looks and feels better than she ever has, and she has been able to maintain it long-term.

What has helped her is getting food delivered by a service, and anyone can do this. There are personal chefs in nearly every community that have reasonable prices that most people can afford – even these days. If you don't know of one, do a search on line. There are many directories for personal chefs.

Rickie learned that the answer is not dieting, and she is a good example of someone who has tried all the diets out there without long-term success. The answer is eating enough healthy food you enjoy, so you don’t go hungry or feel deprived. It is also to find a way to exercise that gets you energized and motivated to keep it up. Rickie discovered hiking and does it four times a week for nearly two hours. She doesn’t need to go to the gym to keep in shape. She is doing it outdoors which she really enjoys.

Instead of fighting her weight, Rickie is now living a lifestyle in which her weight takes care of itself. By now, after nearly three years of living a healthy and fit lifestyle it is a part of who she is. I doubt she’ll ever have to fight the weight demon that those who diet still struggle with. She would agree. I happened to see her interviewed the other day and she felt confident those days were now behind her.

I know how she feels, I will celebrate 9 years of my new fit lifestyle this January 1st, and I never worry about my weight or going back to my sedentary ways and perpetual dieting routine.

Take Advantage of Your “Back to School” Urge to Get Back into Shape

So many people find fall a time for getting back down to business, just as kids are doing by returning to school. As often happens this time of year, people are calling me to say that they want to make healthier food choices and get back into shape. They are motivated by the start of a “new year” to ramp up their fitness routine, lose weight and create a healthy diet, and they want to get a jump on the holiday season.

This is a perfect time to respond to that little voice urging you to get moving, eat healthier and take better care of yourself. If you don’t do it now, will the moment pass you by? If you put off the urge to start until October, by letting just one more week turn into just one more month? Will you wait until you find yourself overindulging on Halloween candy, but then think “what’s the point” since the holidays are just around the corner? Many people do, and the next thing they know, it’s New Years and they are feeling fat, uncomfortable and badly about themselves. You don’t have to let that be you!

Decide to take advantage of this time of year, when you feel some motivation to get back into a healthier routine. All you need to do is something small, and let your success at taking one action motivate you to take more small steps. Soon you’ll find you feel so good about yourself and how you feel, that you will stick with your new changes throughout the holidays and New Year’s will just pump you up to see what more you can do.

Seeing the Value in Personal Chefs for a Healthy Diet

My clients often complain they are too busy to plan and prepare healthy meals, so they can’t keep it up consistently. When they can’t find the time, they end up going back to fast food, cereal, take-out pizza, or a hodge podge of things they find in their cabinets and refrigerator. Seldom are these substitutes healthy and often they are unsatisfying.

It does take some time to plan meals for the week, grocery shop, and then plan and make luncheons and dinners. And there are a number of options when you run out of time on a regular basis.

• Find a local place that has healthy meals to go. If you do a little investigating, you will mostly likely find a place near where you live or work that has a healthy line of prepared foods that you can take home. It could be a restaurant, supermarket or carry out gourmet cafe. In my area alone there are five places I can go for really good healthy choices.
  
  
• Cook extra food, when you do have time, and stock up the freezer for those weeks when you are busy. While you may not think you like leftovers, it may be worth giving it another try. Most food tastes just as good reheated, and some taste even better. Experiment with ways to double up favorite recipes.
  
  
• Find a personal chef to make the meals for you. This is a great option that too few people consider. The general assumption is a personal chef is too expensive. That is seldom the case. Very often, the cost is very reasonable, and personal chefs are highly flexible. You can have them prepare meals for every day of the week, just a couple of days a week, or on a schedule that meets your busiest times. They will also prepare foods the way you need and like it, and they are well versed in making meals without allergens, to a specific diet or with locally farmed ingredients.
  
  To find a personal chef in your area, check the phone book, do a search on the Internet or go to http://www.personalchefsearch.com/, http://www.hireachef.com/, http://www.pchef.net/. Personal chefs don’t have to be in your town or cook in your own kitchen. They can prepare foods in another part of the state and get it to you without a problem.

Expand your options when you are too busy to cook, so you can maintain a healthy diet more easily. When you've got a home-cooked meal all ready to go, it is easier to sit down to enjoy it. Instead of excuses for not being able to eat healthier foods, create a stress-free positive way to eat healthy foods that are delicious, satisfying and hassle-free. You'll discover how much you look forward to coming home to a good meal.

Making the Hard Choice for Bariatric Surgery

A friend of mine is planning to get bariatric surgery, and I support her in making this decision. That may surprise you, but I do believe for some people this is the right decision.

Her goal isn’t primarily to lose weight, but to regain her health and be able to have an easier time being active. This is not an easy decision for anyone to make, and it’s taken her several years of thought. While some would argue that she should have gotten healthy through eating better and exercise, I know from working with her that she tried this to the best of her ability.

For some people, regaining energy, feeling better and losing weight (even if initially done with an extreme solution) is what it takes to embrace a healthy lifestyle of regular activity and healthier meals. It still isn’t easy to change old habits and beliefs, but when you feel better about yourself you want to do more for yourself, and you are inspired to feel good for the long-term. I am confident that she will succeed at maintaining a healthier relationship with food and increasing her level of fitness, because of the work we’ve done together.

Others aren’t so fortunate. Many who get this surgery see it as the solution and don’t realize that they still have to make changes in the way they feel and think about food and fitness. It is not uncommon to regain the weight and require another surgery. More programs are needed to support people before and after surgery on HOW to change lifestyle behaviors and address the subconscious drives of behavior, so they can more easily adopt new habits and strategies when they are most motivated – just after surgery.

Getting that Good Feeling

Have you ever read fitness or weight loss success stories in a magazine and noticed that what each person is most thrilled about is how great they feel? They are happy to lose the weight of course, yet they discover it isn’t how much they lost that makes them feel so good. What is most exciting is having energy, being able to do more things, gaining self-confidence, and feeling more alive and free.

You forget how much it matters to feel good when you take it for granted or it slowly slips away. It is when you get it back again that you realize it is the key to having a good life and to happiness. When you feel good again, you feel invincible and invigorated. You want to stretch yourself to do more and fully participate in what has meaning to you.

Small changes in your lifestyle are all it takes to start feeling energized, replenished and motivated. These can be getting a bit more sleep, getting outside for fresh air, finding 5-10 minutes to yourself, being active with family or friends, eating breakfast, eating when you get hungry and stopping when you start feeling full, having fresh flowers, or replacing some TV time with a more engaging activity. You may have your own ideas to add to this list. Any one of these can have a positive impact on how you feel, and none of them take much time or preparation.

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What's Up with Weight Watchers?

I’ve been intrigued by the new Weight Watchers advertisements. Have you seen them? They now say that diets are bad and it is better to enjoy eating and to change our relationship with food. I couldn’t agree more.

They have adopted a new tag line, Stop Dieting, Start Living which comes right out off the website of Dr. Michelle May, author of Am I Hungry?, who espouses the same non-dieting, intuitive eating and healthy living concepts that I write and talk about. It is great to hear that Weight Watchers, the icon of dieting, now agrees and publicly promotes a change in thinking.

In one ad headline the company boldly states “Diets are Mean” and the subtext says “Weight Watchers isn’t a diet.” In another ad they say, “Diets take away the things we love, then make us hate ourselves for loving them. Weight Watchers teaches you to replace deprivation with moderation, so you can finally learn how to lose weight and keep it off. And then love yourself like crazy for it.” They are absolutely right, but do they back up what they are saying?

If Weight Watchers wanted to really help people stop dieting and start living, they would eliminate the weigh ins and the plans all together. Instead they would teach people to listen to their hunger signals for portion control, learn how it feels when they eat different types of foods in order to discover that healthier foods feels better, and encourage self acceptance at any size.

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Healthy lifestyle behaviors adds 14 years to life

Is it really news that regular exercise, healthier food choices, moderate drinking and no smoking will lead to a longer and healthier life? According to a 10-year study done by the Cambridge Institute of Public Health (at the University of Cambridge in the UK), those that adopted these healthy lifestyle behaviors live 14 years longer than those that don't.

Isn't the real news that despite all the available fitness programs, nutritionists, therapists, medications, and healthcare options that most people are still struggling to adopt these healthier behaviors? We don't need more of the same with old platitudes of setting SMART goals and making time to follow through. We don't need more Biggest Loser reality shows that emphasize no pain, no gain. If it were that easy and if all these approaches worked the obesity rate wouldn't be going up.

It is time to rethink the problem and the solution and study that.

What is a Healthy Lifestyle?

Have you ever noticed that your idea of having a healthy lifestyle isn’t often the same as someone else’s? It can mean very different things to different people, and that is healthy in itself. It can also be confusing.

The most obvious description of a healthy lifestyle is eating healthy foods and being aerobically active as a way of life. But seldom will two people make the same food choices and do the same activities. Ginny, for example eats raw foods and runs most days of the week. Margaret loves pasta and grilled food, and she has found that whole wheat pasta and lean meats are a healthy way of eating her favorite things. Her activities are kayaking, hiking, Tai Chi and gardening. Robert is an avid swimmer, dancer and hiker, and he eats a lot of complex carbohydrates. All of them are living healthy lifestyles, but they aren’t at all similar.

So how do you know if you are choosing healthy foods and activities? There are several ways of knowing.

• One way to start is be informed about the basics of healthy nutrition and aerobic activity and understand that these are guidelines, not rigid rules.
• Another way is to pay attention to what your body is feeling and do what feels best to you.
• A third way is to ask a professional you trust for advice and who listens when you say something doesn’t feel right.

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